Learn to pleasure yourself.

Find out what is most important to you and what makes you feel your best and then be sure you always make these a priority. You'll keep your sanity a lot longer when you remember to look after yourself first. It's not selfish; it's self-preservation. Your loved ones will thank you for it.

If you really have to ride your bike every day or drive your car at high speeds on the highway
on weekends or take time to spend with your friends, let your spouse know this as soon as possible. Always tell your partner what is important to you and don't back down. "This is what I need to do to keep myself sane." Hang gliding? Shopping? Whatever it is, say it and stick by it. Very seldom will someone you've bonded with, sexually and intimately, refuse you what is important to you -- and if they do, re-think the relationship. But always stick to your guns.

If, on the other hand, you want to travel, or take dance lessons -- activities that may require another person -- and your partner/spouse wants to stay at home all the time and doesn't want to dance, you may have to negotiate. You can do it, but always retain your right to do whatever it is that brings you the most pleasure without endangering your relationship. Pick travel companions that won't make your spouse think you're looking for a different (sexual) partner.
Take dance lessons with someone of the same sex -- or someone of a different sex but dubious orientation. Many women find gay guys wonderful dance partners -- or travel companions -- and vice versa. In the end, trust your spouse, until you have reason not to.

Marriage --whether legalized or not -- is all about trust. And we humans are notoriously untrustworthy. Good luck!