Get back in touch with what you used to like to do.

I was in the garage of a friend recently and noticed that, hung up along with his wrenches and pliers and other tools was a banjo. It was between a crowbar and a saw. I asked him about it.

Turns out he had learned to play the banjo as a teenager, had actually gotten pretty good at it, but had given it up in college, where guitars ruled and got all the girls.

Turns out, too, that he was going through some troubles in his marriage. I suggested to him that he think up some stupid breaking-up song that could be played on a banjo. That sparked his brain into another gear. Could he really come up with a song backed by banjo and plunk it out on his instrument? I said I'd listen to it, provided he supplied me with all the beer I could drink.


Maybe he'll never get around to writing that banjo song, but at least, for a while, his brain shifted gears. He started thinking anew. About his past and his future, too. I think that has to be good for the mature brain.


Sometimes the key to an optimistic outlook on the future is a new look at the past. Think back to when you did something well. You don't have to do that thing again -- skipping rope or throwing a football or collecting coins or whatever -- but try to remember what it felt like.

Can you be that person again? Maybe not, but you might be able to capture some of the magic that let you think you could be good at something. You may not take up that activity again, but you may, with a little effort and imagination, remember what it was like.

I knew a boy who was a good baseball player. Much better than most of the rest of us. But problems at home kept him from pursuing his dream. He just felt kind of beaten down, not worthy of the talent that had been bestowed on him. So what is he supposed to do now, later in life, when things aren't going so well? When his job and marriage are in peril? How can he tap that old confidence that comes with doing something well?

The answer lies inside him, as it lies inside all of us. Weren't you once someone with a future? Weren't you once the best at what you did? How did that feel? Maybe you weren't the best but were pretty good. Better than others. You can channel it into something that will help others. My baseball friend would have been a great coach to young ballplayers just realizing their talents. Did he do it? Not sure. But he should have, I think. He could have taught his skills to kids who needed his guidance. And, in the meantime, he could have gotten back in touch with what he did best and enjoyed it all over again.

I remember girls and boys from all parts of my life who could sing. I couldn't. They entertained us, even impressed us. Wow! They could sing! What did they do with that talent? Most, most likely, did nothing. They kept singing around the piano at Christmas or on special occasions but didn't go so far as to cut a CD, even just for their friends' enjoyment, much less try to become known and respected, even successful.

If you're okay with your choices -- either the ballplayer or the gifted singer -- then I say okay. Enjoy the adulation of your friends and family. But if you're having problems in your life, I say go back and look at yourself when you did something special. Get back in touch with that time and that self and use it now to make yourself feel special again.

I'm obviously a writer who -- while waiting/hoping for something I wrote to be published or produced -- decided to get back to my roots and just write this blog. I have no idea if anyone reads any of it, but I'm doing what I think I was best at all along. Writing.

If I can do it -- with no expectation of any reward or recognition-- so can you.

What are you waiting for?