Childhood is short; adulthood lasts forever.

You and I are only kids for a while, but we are adults the rest of our lives. Shouldn't we allow our kids to be kids as long as they can, knowing how long adulthood lasts? (And doesn't it seem to go on forever? Lord, we think sometimes, will it never end???)

So many of our fellow parents (but not us, of course), push and prod our children into particular venues of the arts and athletics -- music/chess/gymnastics/football/basketball et al -- at ages that should astound us but, alarmingly, don't: Ten? Twelve? Even younger?

What are we thinking? Well, apparently we're thinking that our children are so talented/gifted that they will eventually make a good living doing whatever it is they're so good at, so young, and that, in the meantime, they need to get a head start on the competition.

But what if your child or mine only turns out to be better than the local competition -- a home town star -- and can't compete at that elite level where the money is? And what if you've kept that child immune from a normal social life all these years, in private lessons at private schools, so that he or she doesn't understand how most people live and how to live with those people?

What if, after that dreaded last rejection letter, our pampered/driven child has to face the real world of work and other people -- and knows nothing about either? What if we haven't prepared him or her for it because we were so sure he or she would be spared that indignity? What if he or she doesn't even know how to slow down and relax, much less have a good time?

Very few hometown stars make it in the big wide world. Of all the football players from my high school team, even the ones with scholarships, none made it big. And some of those boys were so fast that it took my breath away. And so popular that their heads may never again return to normal size.

If we're smart, as parents, we'll teach our kids to train for X and prepare for Y, X being what they're good at, Y being real life. The stark reality is that most talented people -- and this includes artists and writers and sculptors and mechanics and engineers -- never reach the heights of their chosen profession, and it's as often because of bad luck or bad timing or a bad market as it is because of a lack of skill/talent/ambition.

As parents, we need to prepare our children for this inevitablity. In the end, most of them are going to have to get ordinary jobs. And if they've spent their younger years only preparing for a career that was never to be, the jobs they'll end up with won't be jobs they're trained for. Or that they're good at. They'll be pretty menial. Waiting tables or driving delivery trucks or tending a cash register. Not that there's anything wrong with such jobs, but they're not what we groomed our gifted children for, right? So why didn't we, while we were nurturing their gifts, also give them a back-up option, a Plan B? Something they could do if Plan A didn't work out.
A fallback position. Better to be a working accountant or teacher than an idle artist or tight end, right? Better to be in marketing than the bread line.

Sorry, but it's the sad truth.

The silver lining? Those of us who can sing or play the piano or run with a ball or tell great stories are always the stars of family get-togethers and company picnics, etc. Tell your kids that their talents will never go to waste: they will entertain smaller but more appreciative groups, will always be recognized, by their peers, as special, and, in the end, that may finally prove to be more satisfying than all the wider applause they know they deserve.

Treat your prodigy with care, okay? There's no doubt that he or she is extraordinary, but the real world doesn't always recognize, much less reward, that. So be sure he or she also knows how to work with others, talk to adults, be part of a group. Fill out a resume. Interview for a job. Stick to a job. You get the picture, right?

And don't forget about fun and relaxation; in the end, they are what make life worthwhile Be sure your kid takes time to bat a ball every now and then. And knows how to swim. And dance. And bowl. Encourage him or her to take time to hang out with friends or just sit alone in a quiet place to read a book. These are the best gifts we can give our children, even the gifted ones.

We're only young once; we're adults forever. Let's plan for the long run.