The 25 worst things that can happen to you.

Many years ago, I read a column by a long-ago newspaper writer whose name I think was L.M. Boyd. It was titled "Worrisome" and listed the 25 most traumatic events that can happen to us, according to "a team of scholars". I re-read it recently and thought it worth reading again and maybe re-thinking. Here they are:

1. Death of a child.

2. Death of a spouse.

3. A jail sentence.

4. Infidelity of a spouse.

5. Big financial problem.

6. Business failure.

7. Getting fired.

8. Miscarriage or stillbirth.

9. Divorce.

10. Marital separation.

11. A court appearance.

12. Unwanted pregnancy.

13. Major illness in the family.

14. Out of work for 30 days.

15. Death of a close friend.

16. A demotion.

17. A major personal illness.

18. Beginning of an extra-marital affair.

19. Loss of a valuable object.

20. A lawsuit.

21. Failure at school.

22. Child married without famly approval.

23. A broken engagement.

24. Necessity to make a large loan.

25. A son drafted.

This list was compiled by Mr. Boyd probably 30 years ago. I'm amazed at how many of the items are still true today.

But the list needs to be up-dated and added to.

The death of a child, for instance, is a given: there's no way to deal with it. And a jail sentence is probably as traumatic now as it was back then. But "big financial problem" and "business failure" may, these days, just mean you have to declare bankruptcy and be back in the black a few years later. Miscarriage or stillbirth is still an awful thing to happen to a happily expectant mother. But "infidelity of a spouse" and "marital separation" and even "divorce" have beome common in our society. Half our marriages end in divorce. And "unwanted pregnancy," which used to mean social isolation and maybe even having to marry that dweeb you had sex with when you were drunk is now totally accepted: even movie stars have kids together with no intention of getting married ("out of wedlock," is used to be called).

And, of course, there is no draft these days, so scratch #25.

I'm thinking we need to re-think and re-draft this Top Twenty Five list of worst things that can happen to any of us. For sure we'd have to add something about the terrorist threat to our country, post 9/11/2001, when our uniquely American idea of security was dramatically shot down. What else? I see no mention in this old list of drugs: what about the meth epidemic that decimates not just inner-cities but even small Western towns? What about illegal immigrants who are routinely deported, often leaving members of their families behind? There are all sorts of issues today that Mr. Boyd, in his time, never could have imagined.

What about being abused as a child, sexually or physically, by a family member or someone you trusted (e.g., a priest or babysitter or boyfriend of your mom)? That kind of trauma, occurring when we're young, can wreck a life. And what about being the victim of a crime? Being assaulted or raped, or both? Maybe Mr. Boyd and his "team of scholars" were being too delicate in their categorizing, or maybe they just weren't digging deep enough, because you know as well as I do that those horrible things were happening thirty years ago -- centuries ago -- just as they're happening now. And why didn't he include genocide, where you may watch your whole family murdered before your eyes? He had to be aware of the Nazis and Stalin -- and yes, that sort of thing still happens today, all over the world.

Or what about the plight of the homeless, those families who lose their homes, or never had one, who end up living in cars or under bridges?

It's time to come up with a new list, for sure, and I could draft one, but so could you, if you have the stomach for it.