Pretty people aren't like you and me.

The novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald once said that the rich are not like you and me, and his fellow novelist Hemingway countered by saying something like they had more money.

But Fitzgerald was right in his own way. Those who are rich don't live the lives most of us live, replete with bills and worries and all that goes with trying to earn a living every day.

The same, in a way, goes with those of us who are pretty. And you know who I mean and what I mean -- and who you are. There are some of us blessed with really good looks (not me). Our faces are so well proportioned that we're looked at from an early age, and often rewarded,
because of it.

When I was in high school, we had a section of the yearbook devoted to "Most" whatever. One of them was "Most Beautiful." Also "Most Handsome." All you had to do to gain that distinction was to be beautiful or handsome. No other character traits applied. The girl or boy who was elected had those facial features that we most value in our society: wide-spaced eyes, not too big nose, full lips, clear skin, etc. There is no way to describe what we call "beauty," but we know it when we see it. Every society around the world has its own standard, but the Western look is the one that has prevailed so far. Angelina Jolie is uninversally recognized as pretty, right? So was Elizabeth Taylor when she was younger. So was Marilyn Monroe. So were the Most Handsome and Most Beautiful boy and girl in your own yearbook.

And whoever/wherever you are, you know a pretty person when you see one, no?

They pop up everywhere. Not just in Hollywood but in your own office or on the street. They are the products of a fickle nature that also produced us, who maybe don't look too bad but who wish we had better hair, a smaller nose, fuller lips, higher cheek-bones, etc. Most of us look okay and match up with mates who look more or less okay. And we produce children who typically look at least as good as the two of us, sometimes even better.

But it's undeniable that there are people who, through nothing they've done to deserve it, are better-looking than the rest of us. Like those people who are born smarter than us -- by absolute chance -- they have an un-fair advantage from the start. They are recocognized early, even as children, as being more attractive, maybe even beautiful. And it can direct their lives in ways they don't and can't predict, depending on how they deal with it.

If they -- and I'm thinking girls here -- decide to cash in on it, they're going to have only a brief open window before they start to age and are competing with girls younger and even prettier. The rodeo queen, the "Most Beautiful" who tries for a career as a model or, even loftier, a star in Hollywood, is probably/usually going to be disappointed.

But they will nevertheless, and along the way, always be singled out for their good looks. Studies
have shown that teachers, even in the early grades, favor the pretty people, not necessarily calling on them most often -- as they're not always the smartest -- but giving them the benefit of the doubt in grade issues. And they're most likely to be hired when all else is equal. If you're up against a pretty person, male or female, for a job, and you're equally qualified, good luck. The pretty person is likely to prevail.

Why?

Because that's who the boss is going to be looking at every work day for the foreseeable future, and he/she would rather look at the pretty person.

Another factor that has to figure in, though, is who's hiring. Usually it's men. Need I say more?

I once heard a gorgeous actress say that being attractive was more a curse than a blessing.
I wanted to slap her face. Try being plain, I wanted to say to her. Or less than plain. No matter how smart.

As Bessie Smith (I think) once said, "I've been poor, and I've been rich, and rich is better." I've never been pretty, but I've known people who were, and are, and if they're being honest, I suspect they'd all admit that pretty is better.

I knew a guy in the army who was extremely nice-looking and had Paul Newman eyes: so blue that they made me look twice to sure my own olive drab eyes weren't playing tricks on me. I remember walking into a coffee shop with him once, and the waitress serving us never once looked at me, just stared at him, mouth open, and then dropped her gaze and stuttered as she took our order.

He knew he was pretty and used it to his advantage. He told me he got that kind of treatment
not only from waitresses but from teachers and bank tellers -- and even from commanding officers: he'd been promoted more than once over men who were better qualified. "Hey," he said to me, "You got the brains -- I got the looks."

At twenty-one, I'd have taken the looks. (In weak moments now, I still might.)

Mercifully, as we grow older, looks matter less, but the pretty person still holds center stage.
If you check out the society page of any major newspaper, you'll see that the prettiest people get all the press. In a big city close to where I live, it's the well-endowed blond wife of the owner of a professional sports team, who I'm sure is a fine person in her own right but who comes across in pictures as someone whose job is to keep her husband proud to be the owner of such a babe. It's almost a given that she's had "work" done on her face (or will in time) and uses a push-up bra (or will in time). Regardless of who she really is, deep down inside, she comes across, at least in photos, as someone whose job it is to be pretty and to stay pretty as long as humanly possible.

They say that in real estate, the three most important things are location, location, location.

I say that in celebrity marriages, the three most important things (for the woman anyway) are looks, looks, looks.

I understand why these pretty women have to snag the older (rich) guys. It's the only way they can keep feeling -- and looking --young and beautiful. But isn't it funny that the guys that they might have dismissed when they were in high school have, over time, become the only ones who can allow them to perpetuate that fantasy of youth and beauty? I love it! The nerd's revenge! You wouldn't date me in high school or even college, but now that I'm rich, you're not just willing to be seen in public with me but to actually marry me!

On the other hand -- and there is another hand -- the truly pretty people among us who are also smart do have a hard time downplaying their prettiness when they want to to be taken seriously. I can think of Robert Redford, for one, who has actually grown scruffy facial hair to offset his good looks, and the aforementioned Paul Newman, maybe, who took on a wide variety of movie roles that had nothing to do with being handsome. (Brad Pitt does the same thing nowadays.) But what about the women? Can you think of a pretty film star who has become a "character" actress in her later years? Julia Roberts tries, with mixed success. Years ago there was Julie Christie, who was so sexy in "Shampoo" and other movies but who played, just last year, an older woman who was losing her mind. And even Angelina Jolie won her Oscar for playing a disturbed young woman. It's hard to hide your good looks. So I applaud all who try to!

Beauty has its advantages -- and don't you beautiful people tell me it doesn't -- but it also has its "shelf life". At some point, we're all back to where we started: just people trying to figure it all out and piece together a meaningful existence. So if you're a pretty person, by all means enjoy it.
But know that it won't last and pace yourself accordingly. Plan for the time when people say, "She/he was so pretty. Remember?"

Good luck!