There are things we wish we could do that we can't.

I never learned to dance. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school who could have taught me, and my older sisters married early -- too early, as it turned out -- so there weren't any females to teach me. And I wasn't part of the Country Club scene, where boys are taught such skills.

It came back to haunt me, years later, when opportunities arose to dance with attractive women and I had to say no, that I didn't/couldn't. Are there real dance steps that you learn? I had/have no idea. And what about specific dances? Swing? Some woman once lured me onto the floor and then ditched me immediately because I couldn't keep up.

I also can't ski, even though I live in a state that relies on ski people for its very existence. I tried a few times and never quite got it. I'm not a total nerd: I can run and ride a bike, but I just didn't get skiing.

I can't skate, either. I tried that once and hugged the rails the whole time, looking like the loser I was. Scratch skating.

So let's see: I can't dance, I can't ski, and I can't skate. What else can't I do?

I can't run long distances. I know the benefits of running, and I do jog a couple of miles a day, at a VERY slow pace, just putting one foot in front of the other, barely beating the power-walkers in my neighborhood: I do beat them but not by much. I am amazed at men and women who run marathons. Twenty-six miles? Is that humanly possible?

I'm also not good at social gatherings where I don't know anyone. My wife is good at this. She's always ready and willing to meet new people. I only want to see people again that I've met somewhere else. It makes for difficult get-togethers.

I'm also not good with water. I never learned to swim. I signed up for a swimming class in college, but the teacher was the football coach, who just said, "Jump in and have a good time." I got an "A" in the course but didn't learn how to swim.

What else? I don't like heights. I do, but only if I have something to hold onto. I can't imagine jumping off a bridge or a cliff with only a rubber something tied to my ankle, pulling me up once I'd bottomed out, just yards from dying face-first: I'm sure I would have had a heart attack long before the big rubber band pulled me back up.

I also can't play any instrument. Not even basic guitar. And I'm a poet type who, like Dylan, might have come up with some interesting songs. But he could play guitar and also harmonica. I can't play anything. I once had a guitar and managed to plunk out a few strings of something or other but nothing that sounded like anything that was going to launch my career.

I think it's important for us all to recognize what we wish we could have been good at but weren't. Why? It makes us appreciate those who ARE good at those things. But it also makes us realize that we've compensated and maybe become good at things we didn't know we could do, whether it's real skills like plumbing or carpentry or learned skills like accounting and teaching.
I learned to write and have enjoyed it, though it has its downside: not being published, etc.

And we've probably also made compromises: gotten married, had kids, etc. Main-lined ourselves. Taken on all those real-life duties that the truly self-indulgent person has trouble with. Can you imagine someone who jumps motorcycles over lines of cars sitting down with his kids every night over homework? Or going to PTA meetings? Or shopping for groceries?

In the end, we love to watch those dare-devils on TV who jump off bridges, just like we love to listen to those singers. Some of us -- not me -- like to watch stars making fools of themselves trying to dance. (But I do wish I had their moves, just to thrill my wife.)

There are things all of us wish we'd learned to do, but life is short, and we can't always fulfill those dreams. Do as many as you can, but consider, also, the things you HAVE gotten good at, from raising kids to keeping a marriage together -- maybe the biggest challenge of all! You're probably good at something you don't give yourself credit for, even if you don't get paid big bucks to do it.

Do I wish I could dance? Play an instrument? Ski? Skate? Yes on the dance; yes on the guitar; iffy on the others. Skiing is too cold. Skating can be dangerous, especially at my age.

Would I love to sit in a cafe and play and sing songs I'd made up? Absolutely. Do I wish I'd been able to dance with some of those lovely women? You bet.

But it wasn't to happen, and I'm okay with it. Are you?