Why has hair settled into the places it has on us?

Think about it. We have hair on our heads, and women seem to have more than men -- or do they just let it grow longer? If men let their hair grow -- as some of the members of 60s rock bands did -- wouldn't it be as long as a woman's? Down to your waist, if that's what you wanted.

So what is it for?

We assume that, if Darwin was right, as he probably was, we evolved from ancestors who had lots of hair but that, in time, that hair diminished as we didn't need it anymore: for warmth or whatever. So why did we retain hair in specific places?

Under our arms to absorb sweat, right? In the summer, we all sweat, and those hairs do soak up some of it. Of course our capitalist society has developed all kinds of products to get rid of that unwanted moisture even before it reaches our arm-pit hairs. Shelves in supermarkets hold an increasing array of products to mask our very natural sweat (which may or may not smell bad, depending on how we generated it and how long we've taken between showers).

But why pubic hair? I've thought about this a lot (a lot more than any normal human should have) and can't come up with a rational reason for it. Why are our sex organs bearded by hair? If hair was first intended to preserve warmth -- and I'm not sure about that -- why would our most private parts also need it? Don't they generate warmth from inside? Don't they, by themselves, heat us up?

And what about facial hair for men? And not women? Why should/would men grow beards and moustaches -- but not women?

I have to think that whoevever/whatever designed our universe, and our place in it, decided that women should have long hair on their heads and that men should have hair on their faces. But that men should also be able to shave off that facial hair if they chose.

I know that all this sounds kind of wacky -- especially considering our own modern trends: women with shorter hair, men clean-shaven -- but I think it has to do, as all biology does, with sexual attraction. It's not that women aren't attracted to men with beards or moustaches, but it's probably true that men aren't attracted to women who have those same attributes.

I remember a time when women didn't shave their legs. Back in the 60's. That's when they were also burning their bras, protesting the limits men put on them. Those women were right, but, if they were looking for mates, they may also have been overlooking something vital: men want women to look a certain way -- smooth legs that look good in panty-hose or bare -- and when they don't, the men look somewhere else.

The women of that -- my -- generation had to learn what all women have had to learn: men are simple-minded creatures who don't appreciate anyone's "liberation" when it conflicts with their own idea of pleasure. Of course there were men who did understand and tried to work with the women they encountered, but most of them , even the educated ones, fell back into their old stereotypical thinking about women and chose the best-looking instead of the smartest.

And some of the women, despite their "awakening", did what lots of women have always done: they fell for the "bad boy", the one who promised all kinds of sexual liberation but who, too often, turned out to be just another insecure male looking for a conquest -- but maybe not a job.

But back to the original premise: Why do we have hair in certain places and not others?

Why on the head? To keep our heads warm? We have hats for that. I think it must be for decoration, and I offer as evidence the very real fact that most of us don't look nearly as attractive without our hair. When I joined the army way back when, one of the first things they did was shave off all my hair. The object was purely utilitarian: you don't want a new soldier spending time in front of the mirror every morning combing his locks when he should be out doing push-ups and running, etc. It was also a way to humiliate us all into looking alike: we all had shaved heads.

But even then it was apparent that some guys looked a lot better than others without any hair. I mean, there were guys who looked like a bald-headed Yul Brynner or Bruce Willis. And then there were others of us who looked like "a Buick with the doors open", meaning that our ears stuck out. The latter of us were hesitant even to go into town on leave because we knew we couldn't get any girls, while the former of us, with nice domes and ears tightly tucked-in, scored easily.

So it seems to me that nature -- or whatever you want to call the designer of us humans -- has decided that hair on our heads makes us look more attractive to mates. And remember that, biology being what it is, attracting mates (and then reproducing) is our main purpose in life. Somebody -- or some force -- is very smart.

But that leaves open the question about pubic hair. Any suggestions?