When did we stop thinking about being left alone?

Everywhere I go, people are on their cell phones.

And I'm not talking just kids. Grown-ups, both male and female, seem to have these little listening devices plastered to their ears when they're walking or driving, even in cars through intersections where you would think two hands on the wheel and real attention would be required.

Some states have passed laws outlawing or at least limiting the use of cell phones when driving a car, but I think that misses the main concern.

When did we stop thinking about being left alone?

I understand that teens need to be in constant contact with each other and always have, though I can't imagine how they did it before the internet and cell phones. Actually, I do know. We met up at hang-outs, sat on cars, talked and flirted. And we called each other on the phone late at night when our parents were in bed.

But what about the rest of us? The adults. You and me. Why do we have to be in constant contact with everyone in our lives? Whatever happened to private time? Just me by myself, even for fifteen minutes. And I don't buy the notion that it's just our kids calling us. I think we have reached a point where we need to be available to all our friends, too, any time of the day, even if we're behind the steering wheel of a 2,000 pound -- or more, much more -- car? Is it that we can't stand our own company for even an hour?

In other words, I'm wondering if we just don't spend much time anymore thinking. Thinking. You and me and just our thoughts. Slowing down, spending a little time with ourselves. Deep breath. Let it out. There. Doesn't that feel better? No?

Okay, back to the phone. The kids, the husband, the friends, the doctor, the boss, the whoever!
They all seem to take precedence nowadays over ourselves and the time we spend alone. I do know at least a few people who have told me, right up front, that they can't be away from their cell phones even for a minute. They can't take that precious time because they might miss a call from someone who needs their attention or who will make them feel more loved or more useful or more accepted into a group. They just can't take the chance.

And they will interrupt a conversation with you/me -- face-to-face -- to take a call on a cell phone from whoever is calling, even if they don't who it is.

With every advance in technology, I wrote sometime ago, we lose a functionality. With the advent of instant communication via cell phones -- and, of course, texting -- we have lost the physical conversation we used to have when we could only meet in offices or over lunch or in our homes with our friends and relatives and even husbands and wives. The eye-to-eye contact, the body language, the sheer joy of sitting across from, or next to, another human while we talked. We've become kind of robotized, in a way: just voices -- or even just abbreviated words -- passing through cyberspace, with no subtle but important cues attached.

Of course this is fine for some communications -- business deals, soccer dates, just-checking-in calls -- but as a substitute for real human meetings, it's got some limitations. You can tell so much about someone -- a potential date or employee or even possible golf partner -- just by spending real time with that person, something you can't do online or via your cell phone.

Call me old-fashioned -- yes, I hear the chorus mounting -- but I still think that certain relationships and certain situatons call for a person-to-person, face-to-face meeting. Humans are infinitely adaptable, meaning that we can do the dating and the hiring and the breaking up with others online or by cell phone or texting -- impersonably, in other words -- but we lose something when we do it that way.

I think we should use the new technologies to explore job opportunities, book flights and rooms, look up information, and yes, even meet interesting people. But we should recognize the limitations of those technologies, too, and remember that there is something special about locking eyes with that certain someone across a room for the first time or nailing that job interview because you went in there and presented your best self and left knowing that they liked you or hanging out with someone for so long that you realize you have a new best friend. All that existed before email and texting, and nothing has changed. The human factor is still in play and is still your best guide.

Back to the original idea: There really was a time when most of us wanted to be left alone every day, at least for a while. No computer, no pager, no cell phone. Just us and our thoughts. A time to relax and reflect, to just be ourselves, with ourselves, comfortable with it. Hey, maybe having a drink or a whatever. Chilling. Out of contact. For a while.

Waiting for a phone call from that special someone. Composing a letter to that same someone.

Lots of time. No hurry. Watching life pass by. Being a hippie part of it all. One with it everything. Peace. Brotherhood. Love.

But forget all that!

Are you online? You're not? Why not? Get online! Somebody may be trying to text you! Can you afford to miss it? What are we paying you for?

Be bold and turn off the computer one day a week. Don't check your cell phone. Spend some time with yourself.

You might be surprised what you'll find out.