Genealogy is worthless to most of us.

I know there's a big push these days to trace our ancestry, to find out who we came from and where they lived, etc. But I have my doubts about its worth.

You are, first and foremost, who you are. A person born into a certain family and a certain time. You will have to deal with all that first and immediately, but who your parents were matters only if you patterned yourself after them or rejected them and their values. They are, after all, people like you but who grew up in a different time. They were kids once, just like you. They struggled just like you're struggling, made mistakes just as you make mistakes.

What they did that was remarkable is that they mated and produced you. That had never happened before.

They were very interesting people in their own rights, but they aren't you. Only you is you (pardon the grammar). There has never been another you. You're in this world alone, a new person, and the only reason your parents matter is because (1)they are supporting you, (2) you feel you owe them something, or (3) they're making you feel guilty. They brought you into this world, but that was for them, not for you. They wanted a child. You're that child.

Whatever you think you owe to your parents, you owe a lot less to their parents and to their parents' parents, etc. Maybe you knew a grandparent or two or more, but you likely didn't know a great-grandparent. Your Grampa's dad? Your Grandmother's mother?

It's almost inconceivable to imagine people that far gone from us. But they existed and lived lives like ours, without the modern conveniences but still full of joy and anxiety and boredom and hopelessness and hope. And yet . . . they're not part of us, at least not on a conscious level. Yes, maybe you are descended from your grandma who was feisty and fought for women's rights, or maybe you came from a Civil War soldier who gave up his life for a lost cause.

But that's not you. That's him or her in another time.

Genealogy is deceptive in that it tries to convince us that we are the people we came from. I'm pretty sure that's not true. It's interesting to find out who your ancestors were, but, unless you're in line to ascend to one of the few thrones left in our civilized world, you should probably take it all in as history and get on with your own life.

I take pleasure in thinking that I'm one of a kind, born into this cosmos of particular parents but free to be anyone I want to be. Personal history should be a scrapbook, not a piece of luggage.

Hello, World! This is me! A brand-new person! You've never seen me before! Stay tuned!