It's always time for a physical inventory.

I'm not talking about all those tests that can only be done internally by doctors -- scans for cancer of the prostate or breast, cholesteral screening, etc. -- but just a general look at yourself, at how your muscles and bones and senses are holding up, at whatever age you may be.

I'm just talking about a good look at yourself.

I'll give you an example. I was walking up the stairs not long ago, when I was alone in the house, and I kept hearing this low-level grinding noise, like sandpaper on a surface. I stopped and it went away. I started up the stairs again, and there it was. I'm sure you've already guessed that it was my knees.

They didn't hurt, but they did make a disconcerting noise. A sound I hadn't heard when I was twenty or thirty or even forty. Something was grinding against something in my knees. Well, that couldn't be good, right? A sign of a problem to come? Or just the normal wear and tear of body on joints? Should I have someone look at it? Not right now. I'm not worried about it, but I did notice it and will keep listening.

Let's take it sense by sense.

How's your eyesight? I used to need glasses to see far away but not to see up close. A few years ago, I noticed that I couldn't read the newspaper without squinting. My wife handed me her reading glasses -- basically just magnifiers -- and, voila! I could see perfectly. While I was lamenting my descent into vision hell, something miraculous happened: I found that my long-range vision, what I'd gotten the glasses for in the first place, suddenly had corrected itself.

I passed the vision test to get my driver's license renewed -- with no vision restriction, meaning that I no longer had to wear prescription lenses to drive: I can make out all the signs on a highway without glasses. To make a long story short, I now need cheap magnifying glasses -- which I can buy at the Dollar store -- for reading, but I don't need prescription glasses anymore on my driver's license. I guess my eyeballs changed shape. Maybe yours have, too. Hey, I'll buy cheap reading glasses over expensive prescription lenses any day.

How's your hearing? What's that? (Cheap joke.) Mine is more or less okay-- despite having spent a year or more in the Army artillery, hearing big cannons go off close to my head -- meaning that people don't have to yell at me. If it's bad for you, though, if people do yell at you, there are lots more ways to deal with it than when my father lost his hearing in one ear (as a result of a bomb going off near him in a long-ago war) and had to wear something in his ear, wired to a cigarette-sized device in his shirt pocket. Nowadays, that something in your ear is almost invisible and isn't connected to anything in your pocket. It's painless and does the trick. So get your hearing checked, okay? You hear me?

Sense of smell? I don't know that anyone has figured out how to test this, so I would say that if you think you smell everything pretty much the way you used to, don't worry about it. But you might want to ask yourself this: Do I notice the roses and lilacs in the spring? Do I smell the spring flowers at all? If I pat on after-shave behind my ears, do I smell it? Does my wife? (Meaning that maybe I patted on too much.) Do I notice if my wife or significant other has on a certain perfume?

If you answered no to most of those questions, you might want to get back in touch with the olfactory you. Smell/aroma is an important part of who we are. The old expression "Stop and smell the roses" is as literal as it is metaphorical. If you've forgotten how important smells/aromas are in your life, maybe it's time to burn some incense or at least pick up some nice-smelling flower before you go home. And plant some roses.

What about a sense of taste? It's related to smell, and I don't know what to do about it except find a good doctor who specializes in nose and throat stuff. I know people who claim to be able to tell the difference between a bottle of wine that costs $10 and one that costs $50, but I simply don't believe them. I think the sense of taste is best experienced by going to restaurants that feature cuisines we're not familiar with. Have you tried Indian recently? Thai? Challenge your old assumptions about what you like. You might be pleasantly surprised. Revive those taste buds!

Touch? If you can't feel anything through your fingertips, you need to consult a nerve specialist.
But if it's just that you haven't touched anyone in a while, that can be remedied. We all want to be touched, at whatever age. Studies have shown that older people in nursing homes benefit from stroking dogs and cats. Don't you think they'd rather be stroking other humans? If you haven't stroked something --or someone --pleasant lately, maybe it's time to re-enter the dating scene -- or get a pet. Pay for a massage. It's not for everyone, but it might be just right for you.

Beyond the immediate senses, there is a simple test you can do to assess your own physical inventory. For starters, look at yourself in the mirror. How do you you look to you?

If you're too fat, you know what you have to do: eat less and exercise more.

If you're too skinny, there may be an underlying problem, as that's not the way most of look to
ourselves when we see ourselves in the mirror. Most of us see ourselves as too fat.

When the clothes you like fit, the ones you liked when you thought you looked your best, you're on the right track.

What I'm saying is that there are tests and evaluations that can only be done by doctors, and there are others we can perform on ourselves. So let's go back to the mirror. Stand in front of it, with all the lights on. Size yourself up. If you're really bold, do it naked. Is this how you want to look to a potential sex partner? A future husband or wife? Be honest.

If you don't like what you see, think about how you can change it. One of the most wonderful things about being human is that we CAN change the way we look, sometimes in dramatic fashion. I'm sure you've read accounts in the tabloids -- absolutely true -- of people who have lost hundreds of pounds! You can lose twenty or thirty or forty, if you're willing to cut back on what you eat for a few months. We, as humans, can't change our DNA: who we came from or who we're likely to be, on a genetic level. Some of that is a given. Sorry about that. But we can always change the way we look.

In the end it all comes back to that physical inventory we take of ourselves. How much more do I weigh than I want to? Do I need new glasses? Should I be walking or running more? Am I the lover my mate thought he/she was signing onto for a lifetime? Am I making the most of what I have, physically? Am I being lazy and letting myself get fat and unattractive just because it's too much work not to be? Do I need knee surgery? Do I need to get my hearing tested? These aren't questions we should be asking of our doctors: they're questions we should be asking of ourselves. Hey, it's your body and your life, right? You're in control of most of it.

Have you taken an inventory of yours lately? Anything you think you need to improve? As I said before, one of the wonderful things about our bodies is that we can bring them up to speed any time we're willing to put forth the effort.

And that sense of smell and taste? Tried a good Indian restaurant lately? Or Thai? Or . . .

Here's to good eating and good living!