There are two words than can make your life better.

Okay, don't get ahead of me here. You may be be thinking "I do". But we all know -- at least some of us do -- that those two words, said when we take our wedding vows, can usher in a world of hurt and misunderstanding. A lifetime of compromises that we may or may not be willing or able to make. Most reliable estimates are that half the marriages in our country end in divorce. Ouch!

No, I'm thinking of two words that -- if we mean them -- hold no negative after-effects. Two words that, if they don't heal wounds, can be a start to healing them and maybe re-constructing that "I do" relationship.

Give up?

"I'm sorry."

Traditionally, it's been men who couldn't say these words, because men can't easily admit that they've been wrong. But I'm guessing that women have a hard time with them, too. After all, we're all human, and it's hard for any of us to say that we've made a mistake, a really big one, one we hope to be forgiven for. It's a big gulp for most of us.

Why? Because the built-in implication is that we promise to change our ways and make things better in the future. I'm sorry for not recognizing you as a person, but I'll try to do so from now on. I'm sorry for having an affair with a woman (or man) who looked no better than you but who made me feel young again or at least better about myself; I promise it won't happen again. I'm sorry for criticizing you too much, when I have my own faults to deal with; I'll try to correct mine and try not to notice yours.

I'm sorry.

Why is it so hard to say?

You'll notice that politicians almost never say it. If they did, it would mean that they'd made a mistake somewhere along the way. A sign of weakness or even flip-flopping. They have to defend their worst decisions and try to explain them to a public they want to vote for them next time around. Not good to appear weak or indecisive.

But those voters, like our spouses, are just human and would really like to hear those words: I'm sorry. And the follow-up: I'll do better next time.

Isn't that all we really expect of our friends, our family members, our husbands and wives, our elected officials? An acknowledgement that "I screwed up this time but I've learned my lesson and will do better in the future."

So, again, why is it so hard to say?

I think it's because we all like to think of ourselves as doing the best we can, whatever our circumstances, whatever the odds, and when we fall short, our natural tendency is to make excuses: I wasn't given the opportunity I needed; the press was against me; I needed more than I was getting; just let me explain; no one understands me; etc., etc.

Oh please. Yada yada yada. You f*cked up. Own it.

Apologize, okay?

After all, it's just two words. Okay, one is hyphenated ("I'm" for "I am"), but it's not that hard to say. It's not like you're saying you committed a crime, right? (Well, sometimes it is.) What we're talking about is the power of words to change a dire situation into a retrievable one.

Let's all practice it together. Say after me: "I'm sorry." Now say it again like you mean it. Try it again and, this time, try to feel like you really do mean it. Are you really sorry? If you're not, nobody's going to buy it. Not your spouse, not your friend, not your electorate.

So, the first rule of saying "I'm sorry" is that you have to feel it and mean it. The second rule is that you have to say it with conviction. In other words, you have to be willing to accept the consequences of your having said it: you have to change your ways.

Don't say it unless you truly mean it. But if you do, you may be amazed at the effect it has on others. They may just forgive you and grant you another chance.

And whether you're a two-timing spouse or a back-stabbing friend or a lying politician, that may be a gift you had no reason to expect. The onus is now on you to become a better person and show that you deserve that kind of forgiveness.

Are you up to it?

Just like "I do" or "I love you", the words "I'm sorry" carry with them some freight, but the latter, if you really mean them, can get you out of a lot of trouble while the former two can get you into more trouble than you ever dreamed of.

Rehearse in front of the mirror. Look sincere. Get it right. Your future happiness may depend on it.

And you may become a better person in the bargain.