Men need to re-think the vagina.

The first thing a boy learns about sex is that he's supposed to insert his erect penis into a girl's vagina. He's been thinking about this for a long time -- ever since his penis became erect of its own accord -- but he is at a loss as to how to do it.

He knows that the girl's sex organ is located between her legs, but he has no idea what it looks like or how it works or how his own organ fits smoothly into it. I remember as a teenager, when my penis became erect while talking on the phone with a girl, wondering if it would hurt her? I mean, me pushing part of myself into her -- wouldn't that hurt? And if so, why would she want me to do that?

Boys -- and most men -- know nothing of the vagina. How it self-lubricates to let in the erect penis. How it is the portal to a girl's/woman's sexual self. How she has to be careful who she offers access to.

Too many boys think of the vagina in vulgar terms -- a slit or crack -- and, if my unwanted porno email is to be believed, too many grown men still do. They're either forgetting the life-changing experiences a vagina provoked in them, or they failed to grasp the concept in the first place.

Warning, girls: Don't marry those guys.

Sex education in schools necessarily focuses on the dangers of impregnating the female accidentally, and how to avoid diseases, without really spelling out why that "act" is so compelling and so hard to resist.

The truth, of course, is that sex is immensely -- indescribably? -- pleasurable, both to boys/men and girls/women, and it bonds us to certain ones of the opposite sex that we want to spend time with, maybe even a lifetime.

Unfortunately, it can bond us too early to boys or girls we really DON'T want to spend even another minute with, much less a life. And the unfortunate result is, too often, females left to incubate and then raise the subsequent unwanted offspring with little or no help from the guilty male, who has scampered off to wherever to do the same to some other trusting but naive female.

I think there should be a required high school course in Human Sexuality, even if an Art or Music or P.E. or even Chemistry class gets cut. It's that important. Boys -- soon to be men -- need to know what the vagina actually is and what it represents before they're allowed to approach it.

When a girl or woman chooses to open her legs and invite you in, she's hoping you turn out to be, in bed, that charming fellow you were in the restaurant, when you bought her a drink and put your hand on hers. She hopes you're not some ham-handed brute who mis-handles her. She is exposing herself, literally. And she's truly hoping that you're worth her very personal gamble.

I would like for boys and men to get schooled not just in the anatomy but in the psychology of sex so far as it applies to girls and women. The vagina is a gateway not just to your male pleasure but to the heart and soul of her who offers it to you. Treat it with respect. Get to know it -- at least as far as your goddess is willing to go along. It's her private part. It's her call.

Now we get graphic. If you ARE invited to view the vagina up close, note how there is a "magic button" toward the top. It's a tiny lump of flesh called the clitoris, and it's the seat of much of the pleasure girls and women get from sex. Learn to stroke it with your fingers -- or your tongue. She will appreciate it, even if she's shy about it at first. (Trust me on this, guys.)

NOTE: This is the part of the girl that is cut off by primitive religions, in "religious" rites that are called "female circumcision". Nothing could be further from the truth! Circumcision is cutting away the excess flesh from a penis, and the jury is out on that as to whether it's a good idea. (I think it's not.) It does nothing to reduce sexual pleasure later on. Cutting the clitoris from a girl,
on the other hand, takes away most of her enjoyment of sex, and any religion that sanctions it is barbaric. A young bride should enjoy her husband as he enjoys her. It would be like cutting off your balls, guys. Maybe you could still get it up, but you would always know something was missing: the climax. Those "circumcised" girls probably can never have one.

Final advice to guys: Okay, let's assume you're about to have sex. Once you and your female partner are all heated and ready, don't just jam yourself in. Remember that the vagina is a soft and moist and warm place that you want your penis to be, but not until your partner is ready. (The moister she is, the readier she is.) And when it's time to insert yourself, pay homage to the sacred space you're about to enter. She probably hasn't let many -- if any -- guys in. Act like you're special. And thank her after. Kiss her. (Guys often forget that part. Don't just kiss her before, but also after. And mean it. )

We guys lament that we're always buying gifts for some woman or other, but we don't stop often enough to appreciate the best gift anybody ever gave us: the vagina.

It's a magical place, full of real and metaphoric significance. A true wonder.

So, boys, get down on your knees and pay homage. Oh, and while you're down there . . .