Not everyone loves your dog like you do.

We Americans love our pets and even give them names and accept them as family members. And, in truth, they often do seem like just another part of the family. Mainly dogs, but also cats. Any other pets -- reptiles, gerbils, birds, etc. -- are usually kept in cages, to be enjoyed just by us, not our guests. But we give our dogs and cats freedom to roam, not just outside but inside the house, too, guests be damned. Just as we do our kids, if we're not thinking.

Cats don't present much of a problem, since by nature they're kind of aloof, keeping to themselves, roaming around in silence, avoiding us. Sure they sometimes jump onto our laps to be stroked, but when they're tired of it, they jump off and go out to do their own thing. Cats are self-contained and don't think they need us all that much, even if we both know they do.

Dogs are another matter altogether. We've domesticated them to the point that they almost think they're us. But, in reality, they're not. Bred from wolves, I assume, or at least wild ancestors, they have adapted to being pets only to a certain extent. They love human interaction and attention, but they do keep, somewhere down deep inside, those old animal instincts of the chase and the biting. Some breeds -- Dobermans, pit bulls, and others -- can be very aggressive, no matter how long they've been family pets.

These breeds need to be watched, constantly monitored, to be sure they don't suddenly -- out of the blue -- attack a neighbor child. It happens all the time: read your newspaper. The results are often tragic.

But even the best-kept dogs of docile ancestry, while not aggressive, are often intrusive, nosing up to company, jumping up on them, expecting from everyone the same kind of attention they get from their loving owners. If you've ever had a friend's dog sniff your crotch or hump your leg, you know what I mean.

If you consider your dog a member of the family, it seems reasonable to ask that you hold him or her to the same standards. If you wouldn't let your son or daughter intrude on my space, don't let your dog.

I've never been to someone's house where the host/hostess had to put the cat in the backyard.
On the other hand, I've been to many such an occasion when the dog had to be so exiled.

Dog lovers don't understand why anyone would object to the attention their trusted/loved pet chooses to bestow on them. Thanks but no thanks. Your dog may indeed be your best friend, but he/she is not mine. If I wanted a dog, I would get one. (And I've had many.) And if I wanted a dog jumping up on me, I'd get one that did that. (I've had many.)

In short, I don't want your dog imposing himself on me any more than I want your teenaged son imposing himself on me. What if your son insisted on humping my leg when I came to see you? And then wanted to sniff me and maybe sit on my lap? And wouldn't leave the room until ordered to? If then! Wouldn't you be embarrassed if not horrified?

But dog owners, on the whole, are pretty much oblivious to their dogs' bad manners. Only as a last resort, and often seeming offended, do they put the obstreperous canine outside or at least in the basement or another room.

With all due respect, and with fond regards, remember that your beloved dog is beloved by you and your family, not by me. I'm fine petting him or her on the head once or twice, but after that it's time to usher Fido or Fifi outside or to another room so that I can spend time with the humans who are so graciously hosting me and our friends.

We humans have developed a special bond with certain animals -- mainly dogs, cats to a certain extent, even horses -- but that bond is between us and those creatures. Our friends and guests don't have that bond with our animals. They come to our house to see us, their human friends, to talk and drink and visit with us, to enjoy our company.

Love your animals, as you love your kids, but when guests come to call, put them all in a nice place away from the adult human action.

Dogs are God's creatures, as are rambunctious children, but, unless stipulated in the invitation, they aren't welcome at every party, even if it's at your house, where they all live.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think so.