Choose your clothes carefully.

I saw a woman at the mall yesterday who had squeezed herself into some pants that were meant for a woman half her size. She bulged like an over-stuffed sausage in places I'm sure she didn't realize she was bulging. But she had on high heels, which she thought accentuated her legs, which I have to admit looked good -- but the overall effect was that all the attention was shifted to her stomach and chest, which were way too big for her outfit and made her legs look they belonged to someone else.

Why didn't she choose, instead of what she had on, a loose top that would draw attention away from her ample bosom and to her legs? Why the tight top which showed her bulges and drew attention AWAY from her best attribute, her legs?

I'm sure you've seen men who do pretty much the same. They may have good calves, but they wear tank-tops, those T-shirts with no sleeves, which, in too many cases, show off their lack of muscle tone in their chests. They make us wince, right? What was he thinking, we think? Or they wear big Hawaiian shirts over shorts that actually accentuate their bellies instead of hiding them. And, of course, the worst male faux pas: the dark socks with sandals or loafers.

We just have to look away, don't we?

We humans are not all runway models, gifted with perfect bodies that look good in anything. Most of us need to choose our wardrobes based on what we look like, and that changes with age (and weight gain or loss). Vanity isn't trying to look like a model or a movie star: it's trying to look the best you can, given what you have to work with. And part of that is knowing what clothes look best on you at whatever stage of life you are.

Suppose you're female and short and somewhat overweight. What should you wear that makes you look your best? I don't know. But there are people who do. Consult them. Don't just go out and buy something you like and jam yourself into it. That person in the store may actually be able to steer you to something that accentuates your looks, that brings out your best features while down-playing what you don't want displayed.

Imagine you're a guy who's never really shopped for clothes before -- and, believe me, there are lots of guys, of all ages, who fall into this category. Maybe your mom always bought your clothes, or, if you're married, your wife. You always thought guys all dressed the same, right? Wrong.

You are you, and you don't look like other guys. Some clothes look better on you than others, and you really have to trust someone to tell you. It might be your friends -- if they know how to dress -- or it might be your girlfriend (if you're lucky enough to have one) -- or, again, it might be the sales person in the clothing store.

You need someone to look at you and size you up and be honest about what looks best on you. Think of it this way: You don't see yourself; others do. So you likely aren't the best judge of what you should wear. Trust the taste of others and bite the bullet. (And, by the way, always try to buy what's on sale, as long as it's in your size.) You're probably going to end up looking better than if you'd gone shopping by yourself, ending up with the same underwear and socks and not much else.

Back to the women: You are the main buyers of clothes, hands down. You not only have to keep up with what the latest season color might be but what new style is "in": tight legs, wide legs; tight tops, loose tops; florals or solids; short dresses or mid-length; padded shoulders or not; high heels or something less; etc. You have so many more options than men, any time of any year, that I shouldn't presume to offer advice.

But I will.

Consider your size. Buy what makes you look good. If you've had kids or have eaten more than you wanted and haven't lost it all yet (despite your endless diets), buy clothes that don't show everyone -- via your bulges -- how much you have left to lose. Choose something that flows over your body, leading down to your legs and then to your feet because they're the last to go! Your calves and your feet will look good long after your stomach has surrendered. Also, and this is important, don't draw attention to your breasts. If you're twenty years old, sure. If you're in your forties (or older) and starting to sag, divert attention to some other part of you that you think still attracts. If, like most women, you're gaining weight below the belt, so to speak, wear skirts or dresses that accentuate that feminine flow but that don't call attraction to it. A loose light print, ala the Hippies, is always good. Hey, we Hippie men knew sexuality when we saw it! Lots of us still can't get out of our minds those dancing girls in their long light floral dresses!

So, women and men alike: If you're lucky enough to be skinny, or at least at the weight you want to be, choose clothes that show that off: not accentuating any particular body part, just showing that everything about you is in proportion. Any dress or pant suit that looks good on you in the mirror in the dressing room is probably going to look good on you at a party. If you need confirmation, ask the person who is monitoring the dressing room. She's probably bored enough that she'll welcome being asked and, since she's not on commission to sell you this outfit or that, will give you an honest opinion.

But if you're getting older and putting on a few more pounds, be honest about how you look and adjust your wardobe accordingly. And don't think you can do it all by yourself. Ask the clerk. He or she would be pleased to be consulted and more than happy to help you.

The point is that we should all, male or female, any age, take a good look at ourselves and decide what looks good on us, what we should or shouldn't be wearing. As I said before, vanity isn't about trying to look like a movie star: it's about trying to look our best, given what we have.

If you're a guy with a big pot gut, don't wear a shirt that's so tight that you have to fasten your belt UNDER your stomach: that just makes your belly stick out even further. Buy some pants that are a little bigger in the waist and shirts that won't ride up and out as the day goes on. And get some really good shoes that will draw attention away from your overhang.

If you're a woman who just can't fit into those clothes you used to wear when all the guys were after you, DON'T try squeezing yourself into them again. Those days are gone, darling. You're a more substantial woman now, with more to offer than that little body you've grown out of. Pick bolder prints and more sensible pants, but invest in accessories: scarves and jewelry, drawing attention away from where you're bigger and toward where you're sexier. Do your eyes up: that's what men look at first. And pay attention to lipstick: the mouth is where men look next.

And shoes. Women know about shoes. Enough said.

I would give more tips for men, but I'm pretty sure they've already turned on a football game.

My main point is that we should all take an honest look at ourselves and, using the best advice we can find -- from friends or professionals -- deck ourselves out to look the best we can. It's not that hard, but it does take into consideration that all-important, and much despised, fixture: the mirror.

Don't be afraid to look at yourself, naked if necessary, and then start from scratch. Ask advice. Be honest. And be ready to spend a few bucks. Hey, you're worth it, right?

There's only one you that the world sees. Why not make it the best you?