Is it okay these days to be by yourself?

It's a legitimate question now that we're all in constant conact with each other and get peeved when someone doesn't respond to our latest email or tweet or whatever right away. We're becoming addicted to instant communication.

And no, I don't use the word "addicted" lightly.

Is your cell phone on now? Are you alert to emails that may prevent you from reading the rest of this? Are you being tweeted right now?

It's okay. It's who we are, who we've become. Always on call, always in touch.

Do you ever have days when you don't want to check your email or your phone or anything? Days that you just want to be left alone? Not necessarily because you're bummed out; you may want to take the day off to go fishing or golfing or shopping or walking or whatever. Something that will take you out of the range of instant communication.

Do you act on it and take that day off . . . or just wish you had?

There is much good to be said for our current era of communication-on-demand: you can "talk" with anyone any time of the day or night. Everyone is available all the time.

But that's also kind of creepy, no? No place to hide. It need not be Orwell's Big Brother who is watching you all the time -- it could as well be Big Friend or Big Mom or Big Boyfriend or Big Boss. Whoever insists on always being in contact with you. And whose call/emails/tweets you feel you must answer immediately.

Face it: You're addicted. Or they are. They can't give it up. That's what addiction is.

What they've lost -- what we're all in danger of losing -- is not just time spent with real friends in real time over real coffee and real conversation, but that time spent alone. Just you with you. No distractions. Your back against a tree or a library chair or a pillow or . . . choose your place. Relax and don't think about anything. See what pops up after ten minutes or so. (It takes that long for the brain to settle.) Give it another ten minutes or more with your eyes closed. When you finally stand up, you may be a little woozy from all that passive thinking, but you'll either be on your way to enlightenment or, at worst, rested.

We should all take "me" breaks during the day: time away from everyone and everything. We would probably come back to the sturm and drang (storm and stress) of instant communication with renewed vigor. Back in touch with who we are and what matters to us, beyond the job and the bills, beyond the obligations to others.

Being available to any and all can be taxing after a while. Put those devices away and take time for yourself, by yourself, every now and then, okay?

You'll be glad you did. So will all your friends and loved ones, once they get used to it.