Sunday, February 11, 2007

Check yourself into a hotel/motel room to find out who you are.

When was the last time you checked into a hotel or motel room by yourself?

Not with your family -- that doesn't count. Those vacations when you're all piled in there together, looking for the pool or the Coke machine, hoping the kids will conk out before you do so that you can watch some TV and just relax. No, I mean just you. In the room by yourself.

Especially if you're a mom with kids. (But Dads can do this, too -- with permission.)

If you haven't, or haven't in some time, you should think about it. It's worth the money.

First, you call a hotel/motel and make a reservation. It can be right there in your own town.
You check in and go find your room. Maybe it's in a nice hotel, where all the hallways smell good, or maybe it's in a motel where the hallways smell of disinfectant. No matter: once you turn that key, it's your room, and no one is in that room but you.

If it's a reputable chain -- Holiday Inn, Marriott, Comfort Inn, whatever -- you've got a bed all made up and a desk and a chair or two, a floor lamp, a TV, a bathroom, and a place to put your clothes. Everything is clean, and everything is in its place. Not like home at all!

And no one is in the room but you -- for the whole night!

Want to take off all your clothes and not worry about the kids (or the spouse) seeing you? Do it!
(There's often a full-length mirror on the inside of the bathroom door, but you don't have to look at it.) Dance around the room or do yoga or sit-ups or just bounce on the bed. You're free to do anything you want!

In the drawer of a dresser or work table, there will be a Room Service menu, telling you what food you can order sent to your room. Why not? Some young man or woman will bring it and knock on your door, and you'll have it set on the bed, sign for it, and be alone again. Simple, right? The way life should be. (But put on some clothes before you answer the door, okay?)

And what's on TV? All that stuff you don't watch at home because someone you always watch with doesn't want to see it? CNN? Home and Garden? Boxing? Entertainment Tonight? The History Channel? Most hotels and motels get cable, so you're likely to have lots of options.

So now you lie down on that clean bed, naked, with a room service tray full of chicken strips and ranch dressing on your stomach, watching Paris Hilton make a fool of herself on TV. Why not? Want to switch the channel and see a re-run of Monk or check out the Food Network, where Emeril is showing you how to make crawfish etoufee? Click. An old movie you saw years ago
but wouldn't mind seeing again, even if it's already half over? Or CNN again? Click, click, click.

And now you've got that slice of room service cherry pie on your lap, the ice cream already melting down the sides. You lick if off your fingers as you ready your fork for that first bite.

Does it get any better than this?

We all deserve a little time to ourselves, and sometimes the only way we adults can get it is to pay for it. But it's worth the expense, because it puts us in a room alone and gives us the chance to think about who we are and what we want and what we like and what may be missing in our lives and what we want to do about it -- or it just lets us think about what we want to give ourselves for this one night. F*ck the rest.

Tell your sweetie this next Valentine Day or next birthday, or whatever holiday requires a gift, that you don't want flowers or candy or even a dinner with him or her -- you want a night with yourself.

You'll both be better off for it. At least you will be. Guaranteed.