The most dangerous three words are "I love you".

You might think that the most dangerous words are "I hate you" or "You are fired" or "Get lost, loser" or some other negative combination meant to hurt or reject or dismiss. But no, the most dangerous three words are exactly those most intended to convey loyalty and commitment and enduring attraction. That, of course, is why they are the most dangerous.

When you tell someone, "I love you", you are saying, in effect, that you have chosen that person from all those available to you and that you are willing to link your life with theirs, for better or worse, and that you're ready to share your personal and emotional space, too. You are saying that this other person is so important to you that you will forsake all others, even if, later on, you find that some of his or her opinions, habits, and beliefs appall you.

But how could that happen? You "love" this person, right?

It happens for the reason that you know it happens: in the beginning, you were hot for him or her, and nothing else mattered. You were carried away in a passionate moment and forgot all about who you were and never really thought about finding out who she/he really was. He/she was so charming, and so into you, that you were swept away. Hey, it's biology and theology and all the other -ologies you can think of, all mixed together in one unforgettable encounter. Very complicated but, in a way, very elemental. We are complex beings, we humans, but when it comes to "love", we're back to stage one. Single-cell organisms looking to get laid. We're smarter than that, of course: we sort through our options, trying to guess which mate might make us happy or fulfill us sexually or bear us the strongest offspring, but, in the end, we drop our pants and hope for the best.

We bite our lip and say it: "I love you."

But we're just guessing. We don't have a clue what the person we most like to look at and be around and listen to and snuggle with will become when we're with them every day for years. We make our best choice and cross our fingers.

With luck, the person we choose will blend/merge with us to produce a successful couple: a whole somehow better than the halves. And our progeny will be even better than us. That's our hope and goal, right?

And that's why saying "I love you" is so dangerous. It lays us all on the line. It says, "I'm open to you and available to you and will support you and defend you no matter what." Noble for sure, but what if our chosen one turns out to be someone who doesn't respect us or betrays us or abuses us? That "I love you" can come back to haunt. Our alienated spouse can easily say, "But you said you loved me!" Well, yes, you did, but things have changed, right?

Imagine yourself on the stand in court, with your former beloved sitting a table with his/her attorneys, and the lawyer in your face is saying, "But you said you loved him/her, right?" And you stammer, "Yes, I guess I did, but . . ." And the attorney bangs down a fist and addresses the judge: "The defense rests, your honor!"

Be careful who you say those dangerous words to. Save them for someone you know well and trust to keep you safe. Don't waste them on someone who makes you feel good sexually or someone you think might fulfill your fantasies about yourself. Use them only when you are sure that the person you're addressing them to is someone you can live in the same house with and introduce to all your friends easily and take home to your parents and, maybe, have children with. Someone who makes you feel better about yourself and so glad that you met him/her.

In short, know that person you say "I love you" to, because those three simple words -- eight letters of the alphabet -- carry so much weight and so much meaning that you can't afford to make a mistake when you utter them.

In our language, words get de-valued and over-used all the time. The word "f*ck" used to be powerful, and still can be when used sparingly and in the right context, but it is now too often just a common adjective with an -ing ending. Even "love" is too often diluted in the same way: people claim to "love" their lawns or clam chowder or a certain TV show. They even say that they"fell in love with" a city or a house or almost anything.

But when you say "I love you" to another person with whom you are having, or hope to have, a romantic relationship, be aware of the consequences of what you are saying. No three words in our language, probably any language, convey more -- or can so surely come back to haunt you.