Pornography is not always bad.

Yes, I know I'm opening myself to instant criticism. Do I detect hackles being raised in the feminist community? But bear with me, okay? I'm not the kind of guy who fantasizes about raping women or having sex with under-age girls. I'm 100% hetero male -- no offense to my gay friends, who can explain their desires and lifestyles on their own blogs, as I'm sure they do -- who fantasizes about women: those I had sex with, those I didn't, those I wanted to, those I still want to, etc.

My interest in pornography is limited to watching men and women have sex, consentual and on-camera. In the better films, it's very stimulating, and it might just teach me -- and other men -- something about how to please women "that way".

And just to get it out of the way: Yes, the men have larger-than-average penises -- get over it, dude -- but the women are often very attractive and sometimes even beautiful.

There is a common misconception that all pornography demeans women. That simply is not the case. In most pornographic movies/videos, the men are very conscientious about satisfying the women. For instance, they often -- more than often -- perform oral sex. And in most of these films, there is a lot of kissing, which we all know is much more romantic that sex. (You can have sex with any number of attractive people, at different times of life, but there aren't that many you really want to kiss -- and keep kissing.) The kisses in the best of these films seem real.

Admittedly, many made-on-the-cheap sex videos are just humping for a paycheck, with no real chemistry between the humping pair. And while seeing other people having sex -- under any and all conditions, in any and all lighting -- may excite a certain part of the male population, there is much to be recommended about sharing this most intimate of moments with someone you love or at least care about. Or, barring that, watching others pretend to share that moment.

The best "adult films" (i.e., pornography) show a man and a woman having sex, in real time, with nothing held back. When some kind of lightning strikes, the couple seems to get lost "in the moment", obilivious to the omnipresent camera. They get totally "into each other" and lose control -- or seem to. We have to remember that they really are actors, on however low a level, paid to have sex on-camera with someone they don't know. But what is surprising is that, in more than a few instances, on certain films, they do manage -- or appear to manage -- to lose themselves in the absolute pleasure of the other and of the union. When it happens, it's a sight to see. One worth paying for.

If you haven't watched "pornography" in a while, check it out. But be selective. Most of it as as advertised.